I can’t say that I’ve ever been truly depressed. I’ve had a pretty charmed life and never really had to ever worry too much. Unfortunately, my parents are the kind of people to make a mountain out of a molehill and in my youth I had a tendency to do the same thing. Now, I’m more grounded and thankfully can recognize real problems when they spring up, I have my wife to thank for that. Some people need a good partner to show them the way, she did that for me and I’m forever grateful.
Having children, buying a home, moving into a managerial position within a corporation … these things all come with a price tag, growing the fuck up. I’m happy that I’ve never felt as old as I am. Not that 34 is old, but it’s adulthood in all its glory without question.
Mentally I’ve prepared myself for the responsibilities I’ve assumed in the past couple of years, but it always surprises me when I feel like I don’t feel like I’ve done enough or get blue when I think that I’m not doing something right in life.
I wish for a lot. I had a promising career as a visual designer that didn’t play out like I’d hoped but I still have a definite love for the craft and am confident that I can hold my own. My most recent life discovery is that while you make plans for your own life-life, in turn, makes plans for you. It’s hard to realize that when you’ve got undying hopes and a love for something. It gets easier when you realize that you’ve got more time than you think to change life’s little unfortunate plans if they don’t jive with your own.