Things I can't do now that I'm a father.

  1. Sleep for any great length of time
  2. Stop twisting every little noise into something that sounds like a baby
  3. Stop cleaning things or washing my hands
  4. Stop looking at babies and going, ‘aww’.
  5. Watch Trainspotting (if you’ve seen it, you’ll know why)

I’m not really surprised by any of this, I’m a little shocked it took so long for the emotional side of fatherhood to set in, cause it’s fully here. I had the instinctual hunter/gatherer feelings right away and have been hovering over my son since he’s been out of the womb, but it’s all been logic based. Baby needs a bottle because he’s crying, I’ll get him a bottle. Baby is a little fussy because of gas, I’ll rock him until he settles–that sort of thing. Now, I’m getting the weepies when I see a picture of a crying baby or hear one on TV.

I am grateful that I now have a severe emotional attachment to my son’s needs since I was kinda feeling like Rosie the robot, but holy crap it’s scary.