So, as far as drinking containers go, I’m a glass person. I’ve always preferred glass to plastic, ceramic or metal. Plus, I think it feels better to hold in your hand. With that, I took it upon myself to choose glass baby bottles over plastic and with all the anti-plastic propaganda information out there, it seemed like the responsible thing to do as a parent. Unbeknown to me, there’s something that happens to you when you become a parent. You break things. A lot.

I’ve broken more damn baby bottles in the past nine months that I care to think about and in hindsight it seems like a huge waste. The things aren’t cheap (around $17.00 for two glass bottles) and unless you want to find yourself washing bottles all day, you’re gonna need about six to keep up with a hungry baby. This week I broke my last damn bottle, I’m done, no more fucking glass bottles.

It doesn’t seem to take much to break one either. In all I’ve dispatched seven, only one I can honestly say I expected to break given the situation–a fall off of a counter. The rest were either lightly knocked over while resting on the counter or softly tapped into the side of the sink. I’ve had many more significant accidents with much thinner, fragile glass that didn’t result in breakage or even chipping. This has led me to an unfortunate theory, becoming a parent makes you a huge klutz.

I’m not a terribly oafish guy. I’m pretty aware of my surroundings and don’t have an unusual amount of accidents involving cuts, falling down or any general number of things that cause harm. I’ve always had a problem with falling while walking up stairs but it’s led to little more than embarrassment, and possibly heightened reflexes. At least while walking up stairs. So, basically, now that I’m a parent and not having tiny little shards of glass lying around on the floor for my son to encounter, I’ve developed a terminal case of the dropsies.

Really, there’s been a lot more that’s broke over the past nine months except bottles but why’s it all glass? It’s a little annoying. This leads me to rethink the practicality of having so much glassware in the kitchen. I’ve tried to be more careful, it didn’t work. However, there is the alternate theory behind glassware breakage that the more careful you are around it the more fragile it becomes, but whatever, it all just seems to break anyway.

The discovery of Dr. Brown’s plastic bottles was cool, not just because I’m feeding my son with something invented by someone named Doc Brown, but because he seems to like them a little better and they also seem to reduce gas just like they claim to do. So here I am, $60ish dollars in the hole and back to plastic, or reintroduced to plastic, or whatever. Bah. At least they were recyclable.