Here’s something they don’t tell parents about: daylight savings. Oh boy, I never would have thought about much potential it has for screwing things up but here’s a little fact for you: babies can’t tell time. It’s led me to a theory that old people get up so damn early because of conditioning due to daylight savings time and how kids just wake up whenever they damn well please. I now know why some states don’t observe it.

Normally, six o’clock is a decent morning for Charlie to wake up. He’s pretty chipper and six means that he’s had about 11 hours of sleep total. I don’t sleep that much and neither does my wife, who is a sleepyhead most of the time. Lately we’ve had some issues with the baby gorilla waking up in the middle of the night–for a couple of reasons we think we’ve figured out—and now we’ve got this new damn variable introduced into the mix, the FU variable.

I’m pretty sure that all parents have had to deal with the FU variable, and some more than others for certain. Even those without kids can relate. The FU variable is that one little thing that gets introduced right when you think you’ve gotten things figured out, with any general problem or whatever, and you’re ready for life to return to some sense of normalcy and then, oh yeah, the FU. It turns you around and makes you watch what you thought was going to be normal nights of sleep, quiet evening on the couch or in bed, etc., get crushed with big meaty hands and then proceeds to force-feed you bits of bitter happiness until you puke.

Granted the FU variable is simply something that will take it’s toll on my wife and myself more than my son in this instance, but it’s FU for sure. To the point where previously after Charlie went to bed I had at least a good five hours to do anything. Work, read, anything. Now, thanks to the FU variable, I’m probably going to be considering bedtime around 9 because there’s a good chance that Mr. Crabbypants might visit around the ripe old time of four in the morning. Shit.

It seems the value of my FU variable in this case is not all that uncommon. Hopefully, it won’t be that big of a deal and I’m just ranting for nothing. Charlie’s a good baby and never really put us through the sleep ringer. I’ve heard stories, not pretty. On the upside, I always to look forward to this time of year, the darker the better. The benefit of up an hour early is in bed an hour early. Having not been through any of this before I don’t know what to expect but I’m becoming all to familiar with that phrase.