Jimmy will be starting preschool soon. Very soon. Honestly, it’s three-year-old preschool so I can’t feel like he’s completely grown up but it does mark a milestone and I can already picture myself at his first day of kindergarten, which will be hard. After that, I’m sure the time will start to fly by like it has been doing with Charlie.

Jimmy hasn’t been growing up as fast as Charlie did though, he’s still very much a little kid with an adorable little kid voice and adorable little kid feet. Even though he’s very capable for a three-year-old, he’s still kind of a baby still. I like that it’s not going by so fast since sometimes it seems like we missed out on Charlie being little Charlie since he’s always been in such a hurry to grow up.

With that, Charlie is still very much a little boy and reminds us of that every now and then with his little kid fits and all the fun things that emotional six-year-olds come with. Plus the influences of all the older children he’s always playing with. It’s certainly difficult to battle the insane amount of nonsense that comes from having a bunch of other children around all the time, especially when they don’t act the way you’d like your child to act and ultimately influence behavior.

It’s hard to…

I find it difficult to sta…

Erm…

Starting back up after you leave off for awhile isn’t easy, especially since it feels like you’ve got to say something really important to break the silence or you will bore your (completely non-existent) audience.

There should really be a more consistent approach to blogging if you’re gonna commit to it, otherwise you’re kinda rehashing the same shit over and over cause most people’s lives aren’t that entertaining. More specifically, I’m not that interesting. I have a very routine week. I take myself to and from work five days and when I get home it’s pretty much chaos while I eat my dinner and that continues until the kids go to bed. It’s a story you’ve heard before whether you have kids or not. If you have kids, you experience it firsthand and if not, you’ve heard the stories. It’s nothing new, really.

I’m not saying that it’s bad, but it’s more difficult to come across things to relay that are unique and might be entertaining to a general audience. Life in general is really great but that doesn’t make for interesting journalism.

On the other hand, there are some interesting things coming up. Charlie graduates preschool tonight (graduates as in finishes, there weren’t like tests or anything) and as a parent that’s exciting because it means he’s officially ready for “serious” school (his word), and I think we are too. It’s a happy milestone.

Jimmy is potty training himself. (See why I don’t write about my everyday life?) He just decided awhile back to use the big boy potty with a reasonable degree of regularity. Another happy milestone!

I’ll be running a half marathon in September. Training isn’t going as well as I’d hoped at this point but I haven’t really committed to it. I didn’t stop running for an extended period of time but my schedule has been all over the place. The end goal here will be to run a full marathon next year, whether it’ll be Chicago or one of the other ones I’m not sure but there are thankfully a few nice ones to pick from around here. I will eventually commit to Chicago though, and probably Grandma’s just cause I like the name.

I’ve also committed to good health, however much that sentence has meaning anymore. I am getting older and have a lot of things I’d still like to do without worrying how my body will react to them, so the best way to help that along is stop acting like I’m 18, which I am most certainly not anymore now that I am more than twice that age. *downs whiskey shot* … oh yeah, good health, sure. Happiness too.

I asked some Twitter followers for a list of sad songs to listen to recently and got a list of really great songs but none of them reached down and eviscerated me with the precision of the ones that I’d had already; then it occurred to me that none of the people I’d received recommendations from had children.

Granted, not all the songs that I listen to which turn me into a blubbery mess have to do with children and that’s certainly not meant to take away from the power of the songs that I was provided with but it gave me insight on my current perspective on life and where I’ve come from.

One overwhelming theme of the provided songs was loss. More specifically, loss of a partner due to a break up. It’s possible that I’m not affected by these songs as much as other sad songs because I’ve never experienced a loss that really killed me. Of course there’s been emotion and such but nothing that really stayed with me where some many years later I’m moved to tears by thinking about it. As far as relationship songs go, there’s nothing that tops “I will follow you into the dark” by Death Cab for Cutie. Mostly because when it turns the waterworks on, they are all happy tears. Every. Single. One.

And it’s because I’m positively certain I have found the most perfect person for me.

The other song that now does things to me that it never did before, since it’s a song that I’ve heard pretty much my whole life, is “Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin. Since my boys were born, I can’t help but listen to that song through their eyes and IT KILLS ME. Completely.

I’m terrified that I will look back and remember just once that I didn’t choose to spend time with them over doing something pointless or that just couldn’t have been done later. They are more precious to me than anything ever and I’m doing my very best to ensure that they don’t ever have a time in their lives where they look back and remember me saying “Not now, I’m too busy,” and they knew that wasn’t the case.

I think that I’ve pretty much come to a point in my life where my own personal losses are nowhere near as frightening as seeing people I love hurt and must do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen. Especially by my own actions.

Not so much a year in review, but a simple post on looking back to be thankful that a year which seemed pretty rocky was actually really good, or ended up that way anyhow.

My son Jimmy was born this year in April and he had a good start. He was healthy a from the beginning, no real issues to be worried about but a few that took their toll on the household for a little while. He didn’t sleep well for a long time and that was hard on the mama but that’s thankfully on the right track. Thankful for that cause Jimmy is really very sweet and the little things keeping him unfocused made for a stressful time.

Charlie grew quite a bit this year. Started preschool and is developing into a really bright boy. It’s evident especially when he’s around kids his age cause he’s much more confident in his speech and easily understood where some of the other kids aren’t really all that well spoken or confident about much. Charlie really makes me proud, he’s a great kid.

There were quite a few times this year where I had taken time to reflect on things, particularly after a lot of the really horrible things that happened this year, and I was sad but also thankful I have what I have. I’m very lucky. I have two wonderful boys and an amazing, beautiful wife who continues to be my inspiration and is unquestionably the strongest person I know. She’s handled a lot this year raising the boys and we love her very much.

As for myself, I’m happy to have continued throughout the year happy in other areas except at home, which as previously stated is basically a utopia. I’ll save the “I wish I was more…” posts for later or possibly just stop them altogether since doing more seems to make the wishing more go away. I did complete a 5k this year which I am proud of and look forward to a couple more races this coming year since I actually enjoy running and it agrees with me.

I hope that you had a wonderful year as well, wherever you are. Cheers!

On the list of things that make me ridiculously happy, pretty much right at the top actually, is hearing my wife sing to my children. I sing to my boys when they’re uncomfortable but it’s usually an a capella version of a punk tune. The last time I did it was with Big Black.

It works, actually, but it’s not exactly that sort of happy in-your-gut feeling that comes from a sweet version of rock-a-bye baby. Which she sings rather well. I do admit to having spied on her a couple times over the baby monitor just so I might grab a verse or two.

Life, one the whole, is sweet.